To Spank or Not to Spank

In African American culture is it a very common practice to give your children spankings. Actually its a very Southern thing when you think about it. My siblings and I received spankings. Maybe I won’t call them spankings I should call them whippings! My father was a very important figure in our household.  He was the provider and the disciplinarian. I can remember like it was yesterday my mom saying, “Wait until your dad gets home!” Those were the worst words for a kid to hear in my house. Now that I am an adult, do I agree with my father’s discipline? That’s kind of a hard question to answer because it worked for us. What do I mean? Well, my family and I are still really close.  Sunday dinners, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and even Summer vacations are still spent with my family. My mother and father are still a very important in my life. I know that my father loved us and only did what he felt was right. I know that his father used the same discipline and probably his father before him. I think things change once we educate ourselves on what works best for our families. I have never given my daughter the spankings I received, however, in my father’s defense she isn’t as naughty as I was. Just the threat of a spanking makes her get her act together. I do believe that spankings work on some kids and not on others. I compare it to how children learn. Not all children learn the same. Well, the same goes for discipline. We can’t discipline each child the same. I know there is something current in the news with a famous football star disciplining his four year old. I don’t know his situation and will not judge him on this blog. There is a wonderful Maya Angelou quote that I love. “When you know better you do better.” I have witnessed kids in shopping centers acting up and I want to spank them myself! I think a lot of times our society has become so politically correct that everything is considered bad for the child. We focus too much on their immediate needs and not what is going to help them further in life. When you do something bad there is consequences. I think that was probably the origins of spankings. It’s funny because I see it all the time with unruly kids. Once they become older and are still a handful, parents want to send them to the military or military school. And don’t they use the same kind of discipline I’m speaking of? A lot of times when the military is done with an individual they become very respectful and law abiding citizens. I am not telling everyone to spank their child. What I am saying is to educate yourselves on what works best for your family in a reasonable manner. Of course, there are forms of child abuse, and there are a lot of children abused everyday. In my household I discipline through talking, sometimes yelling, crying, and sharing life experiences. Is this way the right way? I am sure my kid will grow up and think some of my decisions were out of control! One thing I do say to my daughter when I discipline her is “You know I have never raised a daughter before and sometimes I am going to get things wrong but please know my intentions and see my heart through this.” One thing that helps my relationship with my daughter is I allow communication. I think this is possible even if you spank them to communicate what is happening and why. Never spank in anger because that doesn’t help anyone! A lot of times once you’ve calmed down you may not want to spank at all but just talk about it and tell your child the consequence of their action. Let’s become advocates of children to grow up to be respectful, law abiding, educated, wise thinkers. It surely would make for a better society………..I’m just saying.