I remember when I was in grade school I had a white friend, lets call her Chrissy. Chrissy invited me on a playdate. I say “playdate” now but back then I don’t know what we called it. Well, afterwards my dad picked me up and began with the questions.
“What did ya’ll do?”
“What did ya’ll eat?”
“Did people stare at you?”
With that last question it made me pause and look at him.
“What? people were staring at you?” he asked again.
“Yeah,” I finally said surprisingly.
“Well, its because you’re black.” my dad said turning toward the steering wheel and began driving us home.
Until that moment I didn’t think about Chrissy and I being different. We were both in 4th grade. We both liked the same boy. We liked the same movies and music. It seemed as if we were just alike. But that changed when my Dad made that comment. I began to feel different. I began to remember the people who stared at me when Chrissy and I played outside. I thought it was because I was pretty. I thought it was because I threw that ball in the hoop really well. I never once thought it was because of my skin color. Later that year I began to become distant from Chrissy. I wonder had not my Dad made that comment would I have remain friends with her? Now, I have a child of my own. I try to be very careful on how I explain race with her. I don’t want to bring in my ideas and prejudices into how she feels or thinks. A lot of time I think we bring up race when it doesn’t need to be brought up. Sure there are different things that happen in the world where discussions are needed. But a fun family night out when a white family is bowling next to you is not the time. Or when a hispanic family is in front of you at the supermarket. I mention these examples because I have witnessed first hand people whispering about different cultures in these types of surroundings. I want my daughter to respect different cultures because I want different cultures to respect her. Everyone is not a racist and everyone is not meaning to harm black people. My daughter is attending a private school and sometimes she is the only one of color in her class. I remember she came home one day and said her teacher made her sit in the Thinking Chair and everyone stared at her and she was embarrassed. Right away assumed it was because of her color. I made an appointment with her teacher the next day. Her teacher later explained that my daughter became so excited in circle time she accidentally head butted one of the students and became excited again and kicked another. I knew my daughter very well and have witnessed her “excitement” and this sounded a lot like her. I was really glad I didn’t say anything to her about her color. I would have hated for her to feel like an outsider. I think we should start investigating things a little more before we mention race. I know it can be hard, especially if you were born before 1974. In order to heal race relations we have to be honest and open on things we hold onto, and if it is not helping us, let’s let it go. Let’s pull together and try to make it a better society for everyone……..I’m just saying.
black evidence 